7 Ways to Deal with Bullying Behavior

Bullying is a huge topic in schools, on playgrounds, and in youth sports.

And while parents are generally aware bullying is a problem, the natural tendency is to focus on our own children – both in terms of making sure they are not bullied and that they are not bullying others. To get a wider perspective on the scope of the bullying problem and the effect it can have on kids,  TrueSport Expert Nadia Kyba, MSW, President of Now What Facilitation, is explaining the latest research and tactics for dealing with bullying behavior.

1. Separate the bullying behavior from the child.
   
   It's important to start the conversation about bullying by separating the person from the behavior, says Kyba. While it's tempting for kids and parents to immediately label another child a bully based on a single incident, Kyba recommends trying to see the behavior as 'bullying behavior' done by a child, rather than calling the child a bully. These labels aren't helpful, she says, and can negatively impact both the child being bullied and the child who caused the distress.
   
   Labeling a child a bully is a problem because it implies that this behavior is a fixed part of their personality and can't change, according to research from the National Bullying Prevention Center. Bullying behavior is shockingly common, and according to the National Bullying Prevention Center, one out of every five (19.2%) students report being bulled. While bullying is never acceptable, Kyba notes that it can be helpful to consider the situation. Often, children exhibiting these bullying behaviors learned them from parents or siblings or are exhibiting these behaviors because they've been subjected to them.
   
   "The word 'bullying' is also subjective, so it means something different to different people," Kyba adds. It's important to be clear about what exactly the behavior was: Was your child being taunted online, physically assaulted, yelled at during recess, teased for something about their appearance, or being ignored? The clearer you can define the behavior, the easier it is to find a solution or get to the root of the actual issue.  
   
2. Bullying looks different in today's world.
   
   Many students have parents who grew up before there was widespread internet access, web-enabled smart phones, or social media. Kyba notes that what we may remember as ‘traditional bullying behaviors’ (like taunts on the playground) are no longer the only kind of bullying that kids are exposed to, and that online bullying can be as damaging as in-person behaviors. While it may seem too soon for cyberbullying to be a problem for your child, it is important to recognize the risk begins as soon as kids go online. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, among students who were bullied in 2021 and 2022, 22% reported that the bullying happened online or by text.
   
   As with offline bullying, it is crucial for parents, teachers, and coaches to proactively teach kids how to interact responsibly online and how to report cyberbullying, as well as ensure there are safe, supportive, and confidential opportunities to report cyberbullying.
   
3. Bullying can change behaviors of children being bullied.
   
   In 2011, researchers found that of more than 1,500 high school students who were surveyed about weight-based victimization, 84% reported observing overweight students being called names and being teased during physical activities, like physical education classes and youth sports. Young athletes who experience bullying and weight-based victimization during physical activities are more likely to quit sports altogether, which decreases the likelihood that physical exercise will remain an integral component of their lives through adolescence and adulthood.
   
   As parents, coaches, and teachers, it is crucial to make exercise environments a safe place for everyone. "It's just so prevalent in our society that we talk about other people's bodies, and I think as caregivers or coaches, we need to have conversations with our children to explain that everybody has different bodies, and it's not for us to judge anyone else's. If you hear them making comments about their body or someone else's, that needs to be addressed immediately because we know how detrimental that can be."